“Love isn't something natural. Rather it requires
discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice.”

- Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Difference between the Physical and Mental Aspects of Love in Relations...


So I came across this topic on numerous occasions in discussions… Love comes up in many different ways. But do we really understand what the meaning of the word Love is? Can we decipher the difference between the physical and mental part of Love… I believe we can…



Let’s first look at the meaning of Love…



Love, noun

1       a (1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2): attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests b: an assurance of affection

2:      warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion



3       a: the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration b (1): a beloved person: darling —often used as a term of endearment (2) British—used as an informal term of address



4       a: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1): the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others b: a person's adoration of God



5:     a god or personification of love



6:      an amorous episode:



7:     the sexual embrace:



There were many more definitions for the word Love. I’m only going to discuss a few. In my reading of The Art of Loving, by Erich Fromm (must read) it took me 3 weeks to finish. Not because it was a long book but because to understand the words that were written on each page took time to mentally receive.



We have all been in different relationships and some ended for different reasons, but let’s dig into the reason for the short comings. In the begging all was well... It was fun having the companion to be attached to… The newness of it all was exciting… But when there was no more excitement or fun what was left of it? That is the question that should be asked. Was it Love or Lust? Many times it was lust that brought you together not Love. You saw what you wanted and went for it. No questions asked. Many fell into it for Lust then hoped that some kind of Love came from it… But how can you expect Love, the ultimate mental state of oneself, to come about later on when that wasn’t the basis of the joining together in the beginning… It’s a battle that is trying to be fought but never once understood…



Are you following me?



A battle that is fought but never once understood… How can one fight for Love when they really have no idea of what it truly means? To Love is more than just stating it, it’s about knowing and living in that state. If your unable to live in that state of love how is it your suppose to build something based on it if you’re not living in it for oneself everyday. To be able to give love to another you have to be able to give it to oneself. You have to be able to understand it mentally not physically for you. Not understanding the true meaning and being able to give that love without expecting anything in return puts your mind in a state of Lust… It’s like saying if you love me I love you or I give myself to you and you do the same… That is not Love that is Lust… Expecting something in return is not Love, because when you’re truly mentally mature with yourself you don’t expect anything in return but the gift of giving that mature Love and the other being able to receive it on that same level of mental maturity…



In saying that, that’s where the difference in a Lust vs. Love happens… If we all based our relations on mature mental love it wouldn’t break to the physical aspect of lust… If we all are able to become one within ourselves mentally we will be able to give that ultimate mature Love…



                                                         ~S~










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